Fly with demons
I've dealt with my inner demons, the first time that I met them I chased them down, kicked them around, and I tried to show them who was boss. After a while I realized that the energy I was using to try and get rid of them was going to waste, and too big an effort to keep up. I started to wonder what would happen if maybe I started to listen to them, and considered letting them guide me.
So I started looking at myself from different angles and I began to recognize that the so called demons had always just been there. I saw them in things like, that inner rage that I carried through my childhood, and my desire for power and control that took me so long to recognize. There were many aspects of my life that slowly revealed the truth of a scary side of me.
Seeing all of this and trying to figure out how to deal with it, I found that I could express my inner evil through writing. I have written some harsh stories; most of which are in my first journal, "Where Faith Can Grow". I wrote out the bad thoughts and acted out the happy go lucky guy in my day to day presence. I kept the two apart and tried to keep the darkness separate from myself, by saying that it was just words. Until eventually it all weighed me down so much, that I could no longer deny the need to suffer for my evils. So I put myself through a little hell, and I allowed myself to embrace the life that would bring me the suffering I surely deserved.
I was lucky though, and life threw me a curve ball before I did anything that would fulfill the desires for devastation. I turned around in my thoughts and I began to embrace what would bring a happy me. But my writing was now twisted and confused between my dark humor and this bright inspiration. I was having trouble understanding how these things were tied together and I set down my pen in frustration. I also started saying that I ate my demons and they were living happily in my stomach, accepting their presence while still keeping them separate.
I began to chase the light, it felt nice being surrounded by the concept of good. My exterior smiles were now reaching my heart and mind. I forgave myself and everyone that I could think of that I held some negative feeling for. I expanded my knowledge, searched for answers to my new inspiration, and I thought about how my dark feelings fit in. After a few years of mingling the religions of the world, I came slowly to the realization that I was both the positive and the negative.
It was a long time of searching and growing, but the balance of existence became one of my mottos. I took those demons that I was supporting with hot sauce and I embraced them with love. It became clear that there was a thin path which allows a little stumbling towards each side; where life is at ease between small levels of positive and negative energy that I may send out into the world. With this ease I can now dance and soar through the eye of imagination, my demons and my angels always moving with me, swirling around together and understanding the great energy in the love that is pouring into everything. I accept both and listen while each group sings thier various songs, all of their voices are so beautiful. And I live with a huge smile because I live balanced between both, which allows both sides to balance with me. There is no great good and no great evil, there is only the ease of not stepping too far to either side.
I hope you find the same ease, and I hope it brings this level of joy.
Love, PEACE
So I started looking at myself from different angles and I began to recognize that the so called demons had always just been there. I saw them in things like, that inner rage that I carried through my childhood, and my desire for power and control that took me so long to recognize. There were many aspects of my life that slowly revealed the truth of a scary side of me.
Seeing all of this and trying to figure out how to deal with it, I found that I could express my inner evil through writing. I have written some harsh stories; most of which are in my first journal, "Where Faith Can Grow". I wrote out the bad thoughts and acted out the happy go lucky guy in my day to day presence. I kept the two apart and tried to keep the darkness separate from myself, by saying that it was just words. Until eventually it all weighed me down so much, that I could no longer deny the need to suffer for my evils. So I put myself through a little hell, and I allowed myself to embrace the life that would bring me the suffering I surely deserved.
I was lucky though, and life threw me a curve ball before I did anything that would fulfill the desires for devastation. I turned around in my thoughts and I began to embrace what would bring a happy me. But my writing was now twisted and confused between my dark humor and this bright inspiration. I was having trouble understanding how these things were tied together and I set down my pen in frustration. I also started saying that I ate my demons and they were living happily in my stomach, accepting their presence while still keeping them separate.
I began to chase the light, it felt nice being surrounded by the concept of good. My exterior smiles were now reaching my heart and mind. I forgave myself and everyone that I could think of that I held some negative feeling for. I expanded my knowledge, searched for answers to my new inspiration, and I thought about how my dark feelings fit in. After a few years of mingling the religions of the world, I came slowly to the realization that I was both the positive and the negative.
It was a long time of searching and growing, but the balance of existence became one of my mottos. I took those demons that I was supporting with hot sauce and I embraced them with love. It became clear that there was a thin path which allows a little stumbling towards each side; where life is at ease between small levels of positive and negative energy that I may send out into the world. With this ease I can now dance and soar through the eye of imagination, my demons and my angels always moving with me, swirling around together and understanding the great energy in the love that is pouring into everything. I accept both and listen while each group sings thier various songs, all of their voices are so beautiful. And I live with a huge smile because I live balanced between both, which allows both sides to balance with me. There is no great good and no great evil, there is only the ease of not stepping too far to either side.
I hope you find the same ease, and I hope it brings this level of joy.
Love, PEACE
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