Ignoring

 Ignorance can be a fire in the darkness of hell. I truly knew bliss when I was a child living for the moment, happily breathing and eating as my parents supported me, my brother and sisters. Challenges came; potty training, reaching door handles, learning to ride a bike, finding out how to not shut my fingers in the door, which took a while, and finally a lifetime of growing my brains understanding. At one point I knew everything, OK, I thought I knew everything and that was when I didn't know how much I had to learn. I was a man sized child and I was in a bit of a hell that I created for myself through having great ignorance. I look back and I love that young man, I love him because he never really stopped digging, despite that knowing of everything, and because he grew into what I find in this mind today. But there was hell to pay for attempting ignorance by assuming to have all the answers, and I did face my inner darkness, and standing in front of it I grew to find that it was directly connected to my inner light. I found a point just outside the atomic structure I call home, this human form, and it is balanced in light and darkness as a portion of the flowing energy moving everything as if it were nothing. The hell that I went through was filled with demons; like depression, over drinking, and feeling disconnected from everything. I was not sad on the outside, my mask was well developed, but my heart and soul yearned to be reconnected, because I had built a wall between them. That time of ignorance was an inner hell, and I felt surrounded by darkness until I changed my gaze slightly to see the light. I am only a bit wiser than that boy, but I am infanately more aware of how little I know compared to what I may be allowed to learn. So, I continue to seek more in understanding everything I can, and egg myself on by singing lyrics like in one of my wife's favorite songs, "...hang on little tomato..."

Love,

PEACE


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