I am still a devil

Turning from God is a path to destructive ways and there are a billion faces masking one that is turned from God.  It can be the priest, the fire fighter, police officer, the person bagging your groceries or even yourself or me.  At any point along the path towards understanding, whether the person is a gun wielding drugged up killer, a soldier or a mother, they can become focused on that which is not leading to God, but rather towards their own ego attachments.  We walk a hard path to keep our own God loving energy moving from within us out into the world, and at any time along our journey we may become twisted around and lose sight of love as we gaze at the wonders of the world.  Sometimes we may find that God's graces are slow to arrive and the speed at which worldly goods repay us seems ten times as fast, how much easier it is to seek out the quick wealth we can receive.  Money is one thing that can entice us from the path of love, it is difficult in a world where some people will push you into the dirt so their piece of the pie can be a bit bigger.  Desire in the disguise of love is another beast waiting to pull us off the path with our minds still thinking we are walking with pure intention.  It moves our love from our heart to our mind; it stops being a guiding light moving through us, and it becomes a force of our individual will full of expectations and demands.  This type of expression of love is so far from the truth of that which has no expectations or demands, the truth of love is that it is just there for all despite anything they do.  

Turning from God can be subtle or it can be an act of certainty, either way our love will often be focused on self fulfillment rather than on just being and enjoying the existence that moves around us.  As a young man I said with certainty that there was no God, I was sure this life was all we got and I was going to get everything I wanted and make the world move my way.  Now I live to experience the world and I wander through life trying to just be in love with the movements the world brings me.  In my peace I still find frustration built up out of desire and expectations; I become frustrated and lose my cool when I do not get my way.  Sometimes I become a nine year old boy throwing a fit because an expectation is not fulfilled; but the great thing about having known love that is not based on desire for the fulfillment of my own will, I often catch myself fairly quickly and realize where I have veered from the path.  Loves path is a graceful journey built out of acceptance for all, the grace is not in what comes to you, but how you embrace and move with what life brings you.  Because life has rocks, hard ground and stale air which will make it very difficult to love what is going on around you; but that is what a heart does when it knows the presence of God continuously moving through and around it.  The heart that is turned on to God's love will accept and move with every activity it meets, it will be full of love and peace will be its expression.  I am at ease when I face God in all directions, and my will becomes a laughing child just walking through a field of tall grass, making a path by placing one foot in front of the other without any place in particular to go.  I live my life and do the tasks that are placed before me.  I am full of desire, but I let my desires be fulfilled as fulfillment chooses to come to me, not by forcing my will into it.  I jabber, point in many directions and share as much of me as you are ready to receive.  I am here now as best I can be at this point in what now is.  You too can live for the moment, each on its own one by one, as Ram Das said over and over again, be here now.
Love, 
PEACE

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