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Silence, a stillness is all I have
become and all that surrounds me. I
become unaware of self and live, yes live in complete absence, all presence and
no being. Any possibility could flash
into existence, yet thought is held off by not being able to think. In an instant thoughts could flow through
space, allowing a me of conscious thinking energy to be; but there is such
peace in just not being. Absence becomes
an urge to be something, to be anything and still I am silence and
stillness. The peace is wondrous and
then agitation pours into being, and I realize I am the urge and it lives in
agitation as it is desire and desire disrupts the peace in not being. Despite the agitation, it is something that I
want to be and a though streams forward towards a past that seems to be
connected to this me, which is now a future to be. A rush like flowing backwards out of a deep
pool, up a waterfall and then into the air; the feeling of rushing air stops
and I am no longer moving and there is an I that seems to surround my
being. A being that is sitting
comfortably on a soft seat with no back; I am at ease and a happy presence of
mind moves within my mind and body. I
remember that I am in my home and sitting on a cushion on my basement floor, I
take a deep breath and consider all that just went on in my consciousness.
The
me of Jason Whaley was seemingly gone, the me of soul consciousness was also
missing from my being. A stream of
existence that I consider to be my self seems to have become lost to what may
be now or has been in some long forgotten past, and open only to the absence of
being. If I was able to just be made
aware of that point in existence or absence of existence, then it must be
something that is available now. As if
each portion was on its own individualized continuum that carried it from the
beginning to the end of creation; as if Brahman pouring itself out into all
creation, made nearly unlimited layers of existence down through levels of
consciousness into all the separate souls and beings in all realities. Making you and I, each the all and
everything, from the beginning as absence of all being, through all levels of
creation to the you and I we think we are and back out to an end where we are
thinking and being nothing.
Each
entity is always as much the whole as all others, since it is the only thing
that is completely conscious of all it knows and all it has ever been aware
of. Brahman in all wisdom, pouring from
the complete absence of everything has interwoven all these unlimited
creations, so each comes to varying points where they interact with one another
over and over again throughout multiple levels of consciousness. Creating bursts of realities that can be
shared and experienced as time and existence, as individuals or multi leveled
souls; touching upon so many emotions and thoughts together along the way.
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